Tarehe Yangu ya Kwanza (My First Date)

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Pati Wani
Kipande cha Kwanza
Asubuhi ya kuamkia siku yangu ya tarehe (date) na mrembo niliyekua namtazamia kumuingiza kwenye kijisanduku, nilirauka rau rau na kupiga meno mswaki. Nilikua nimeoga Jumapili iliyotangulia kwani nilishafahamu kuwa usafilinesi ni karibu na uMungulinesi. Nilisugua meno sugu sugu na kujipaka mafuta yaliyokua yamebaki baada ya mrembo wangu wa main kunipikia vyapati vingi vya juma lizima. Nilijipulizia dumu na kuchomoka mbio kwani nilifahamu fika kuwa chelewa chelewa utampata mwana si wako.
Nilielewa pia kuwa polepole huumiza matumbo na ngoja ngoja hana baraka lakini nilikua pia najikumbusha kua haraka haraka haina baraka lakini pia kawia ufike. Nilifyatuka fyatu fyatu bila kuufunga mlango na na kukanyanga nyatu nyatu, kwa kua nilikumbuka kwamba simba mwenda pole ndiye mla nyama na pia debe tupu ndilo hupiga kelele sana. Nilinyemelea menye menye nisije nikamwamsha jirani yeyote na kufika katia geti kuu la ploti yetu. Geti halikua limefungwa na nikashangaa sana kwani bawabu wetu haelewi kuwa bahati ya mwenzio usiilalie mlango wazi.

Haidhuru! Nilinyofoa nyayo zangu kutoka ardhini, mmoja baada ya mwingine na kuwaambia kuwa teke la kuku halimuumizi mwanawe na meno hayaumani na kwa hivyo, nyayo zote zilifaa kushirikiana kunifikasha niendako kwani umoja ni nguvu na utengano ni riwaya ama tamthilia, sikumbuki vyema. Kupata sikumbuki hilo, nilijua tu mamangu hakunipaka mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa aliposema kuwa mimi husahau kama nguruwe.

Pati Wani
Kipande cha Pili
Katika hizo mbio zangu za kuhakikisha tarehe yangu haitaharibika, nilitripu kidogo na kuanguka matopeni chupi! Apana, ilikua tapwi! Poleni. Hapo ndipo, baada ya kujiangalia vizuri nilivyochafuka, nilikumbuka kuwa mbio ya mgambo ina jambo na pia jogoo la shamba haliwiki mjini maana ploti yetu ilikua mahali kuna vichaka na hapa barabarani mlikaa mji.

Haidhuru! Niliamka na kuchuna majani ya maigoya hapo na kujipangusa. Bahati yangu si kuilalia mlango wazi maanake nilivalia nguo nyeusi si si si (nilishakuwaambia mimi na ndugu yangu tuna shahada, stashahada, uzamili, uzamilifu, na Pi Hechi Di kwa haya mambo ya ndegeurogi (witchcraft)); hilo likimaanisha hatungevaa nguo nyeupe.

Niliendelea na safari yangu huku nikijiambia vile nitakavyoandaliwa mahamri haya ya kibinadamu, maziwa yasiyoganda hata kama huwa kwenye jokofu moto na pia vile ningeraunchi manifesto yangu; ndio nipakuliwe paku paku, vizuuuri. Nilijiamini sana na kujua nisingelitoka hivyo kama mzika uchuwe ama mpakuli wa punda.

Manthari nilikua najua kujitetea, huyu tarehe wangu hangekataa kupandwo. Nilijiamini fika mwisho mpaka nikatokezea kujipapasa kifua. Lakini nikiwa katika hiyo hali, nikakumbuka kinyozi hajinyoi na pia mtu hajipigii ndarama. Pia ilibidi nijikumbushe kwamba maskini akisifiwa sana, matako yangelia bwata, na sikutaka yalie nikiwa na mrembo maana tembo angelitia maji na mnajua kuendavyo maji yakizidi kwa mteremko.

Nilitoa vyapati vyangu kutoka mfukoni na kumega kidonge na kisha kuvirejesha mfukoni. Nilitaka sana nikifika hapo anukie aroma ya chapati ndio ajue mimi si mchache wala kokrochi. Nililuruka kidimbwi kilichokua katikati mwa barabara na kudandia kiroli kia mafuta kikipita.
Nikiwa nimehang’i huko nyuma, nilifanya hesabu kadhaa, jasti inkesi akatae manifesto yangu. Nilijiambia naweza simama kama mgombea mbinafsi lakini nikaona hapo nina uKilimani moms; nilikalikuleti Aljebra, ikakataa kuingiana.

Nikajaribu Kemia ya organiki, haikunisaidia. Nikaona pengine nikifind exi, naweza kupata plani a, ba, cha, na da, akifikia mahali kwa kucheza mgumu wa kupatikana (yaani ile hardi to geti, mwaelewa siyo?).

Nilipiga moyo konde na kusema lolote liwalo na liwe – lazima huyo mvunjiko (crush) angepandwo kwa hali yoyote ile. Babangu alikuishaniambia nikiwa mchanga kwamba sisi ni wa mbari ya Mugweru ambayo haijawahi chora (draw) sime kutoka kibindoni na ikarudi bila nyama. Na sikua tayari kuruka mambo ya tradisheni; la sivyo, ningepatana na makuu. Ata waganga walishatupaka mafuta na kusema asiyeskia la mkuu labda yeye ndiye mkuu kwao.

Pati Wani
Kipande cha Tatu
Hikio kilori kilikua kinaenda kuenda. Kilikua kinatoka paka paka, yaani unyoya unyoya. Na nyakati, zilikua za maasubuhi maasubuhi na nilidhani kilikua kimebeba miraa maanake kilikua kinaenda kama saitan. Hakikua kinataka kuskia bampu wala marima kwa barabara. Kwa mara kadhaa wa kadhaa, kilinirusha juu na moja, kikaniangusha barabarani. Ata nadhani ndio sababu mimi huambiwa niliangushwa na ngoi
Nilijizatiti na kuamka hata ingawa mipira ilikua imegongwo ndipo.

Nikidhani, ilikua imerudi kwa tumbo na kwa hivyo, ilinibidi kutembea kama bata kiengei ama kitokezei. Nikiwa katika hiyo hali ya maumivu, nilijiuma kidole kujikumbusha sababu yangu kuwa katika hali hii, yaani sababu yenyewe ikiwa ni sketi (mrembo ambaye sikua na uhakika angenikubali nimege tunda mahali Adamu aliachia).

Ujue saitani sio kipii, punda si punda, nilikutana na mvunjiko mwingine uliokua was shule ya fraimary. Ulikua ni kama ulikwishaumwa mara ya pili tangu siku zetu za kunuka mkojorere tukiwa klasi na kunifungua macho vizuri. Yaani toto kaumbika mithiri ya umbo na nambari nane. Shingo lilikua lile la machete; wachana na upanga.

Meno ni yale ya tifii huku ulimi ukiwa ni ule kukata na shoka. Mashavu yake yalikua yamejaa huku macho yakizidi ile nyama ya kitambo ya reale ambayo haikua inajaa kikombe.

Kuliangalia hilo jitoto upande wa saniteshon, yaani limejibeba likaambia Vera na Nickson Minaj makae chini. Mate yalindondoka, underere ukitiririka kutoka kwa kona zote za mdomo wangu. Macho yalijikondoa kondo kondo huku nikijipeleka alikokua mithili ya mbwa ajipelekavyo kwa itarara (yule myama wa ardhini anayesemekana kuvuruta windo lake kwa manto wa macho). Niliskia kama ananicheka lakini nikaona kama anatabasamu.

Sikufahamu angenicheka kwa nini.

Niliongeza mwendo na ndipo nikagundua sababu yake ya kung’ethia. Nilihisi kabaridi kakali kakipita kwa mapaja na kupuliza mipira kwa radha niliyoipenda. Lakini kwa wakati huu, sikua na wakati wa kuipenda.. Kumbe nilipoanguka, mfuto wangu uliraruka raru raru, kutoka upande wa mbele mpaka nyuma.

Hapo ndipo nillipokumbuka kuwa, kujiambia kwa roho hakufiki na pia mgagaa na upwa, hali wali mkavu. Niliona haya sana na kuchonoka iliyoje. Nilitamani nipitie kwa Njery niombe usaidizi lakini nikakumbuka kwamba nyumba usiyoilipia, ashana nayo.

Nilifahamu fika kuwa hakangenisaidia maanake siku kadha zilizotangulia, nijibeba kama mtu aliyeringa bila kufahamu akufaaye kwa dhiki haachi kutika.

Nilipiga moyo konde na kuiipa moyo na ile hadithi ya Abrahamu walipojifunga maigoya na mahuti ma nduma. Na kama niwambiavyo, ninja hakufangi na akikufa, basi ameonewa na chief monk ambaye kwa sasa nilisema aende akikauka.

Niliingia kichakani karibu na kutoa mfuto wangu na kuketi chini kuukarabati. Kwa sababu siku za mwizi ni arobaini, na debe tupu haliachi kunona, nilikata sigingi kwa rugiri lulilokua hapo na kuanza kushona mfuto wangu. Hakuna mpango wowote wa mwovu ungenizuia kupanda mbegu, maanake mvua ilikua karibu kunyesha. Lazima ningejitayarisha maana msafiri ni aliye pwani na pia sikio la kufa haliskii la mkuu wala la mteka maji msikitini.

Haya. Baada ya ushonaji wa kienyenji, mfuto wangu ulikaa mpya. Ndio mimi huyoooo, guu baada ya lingine mpaka nilipoambiwa nitapata mahuti ma ndizi ma kunielekeza kwa mvunjiko wangu.

Pati Wani
Kipande cha Nne
Katika hizo njia panda, nilichanganyikiwa maana zote zilinikalia potentio. Niliketi chini, kila mguu ukiwa umeangalia njia moja na mikono pande hizo nyingine mbili. Nilitema mate kwa mkono wangu wa kushoto na kuyagonga kwa kidole cha kuorota lakini yakaenda njia tatu.

Yalikua mazito ishara kua singesaidika hapo. Nilibabanyababanya hapa na pale na kupata ‘Wakagukua’, ile dira (Kompasi) yetu ya tradisheni na kumuuliza kwa kina mpenzi wangu ni wapi.

Alikaa kuchanganyikiwa maanake aliniashiria upande wa kulia na wa kushoto na nikajua pia ufisadi ulikua mpaka kwa wanyama. Lazima ningemhonga la sivyo, ningekula huu na hasara juu. Hata wazee wa zamani walisema nyani haoni kundule na pia atangaaye sana haachi kulia kivulini.

Katika hizo pilka pilka zangu, Bwana Musa naye akatokea kutoka upande wangu wa kulia. Huyu ndiye mtu wa mwisho niliyetarajia kumuona asubuhi hii. Lakini wasemavyo, siku ya nyani kufa, miti yote huteleza na asiyekubali kushidwa, kwake kuna jambo.

Bwana Musa alikua na tabia ya kumtongoza msichana yeyote aliyepitisha sketi mbele yake. Alipenda san asana kuona na kumezea mate upande wa sanitesheni huku akisema kua paka mzee hunywa maziwa na pia mwana mkufuu husana, na akikufuru mwanafuu, hakika huDemakufu. Nilijiambia lazima awe alijua huyu mrembo wangu alikokua yuabarizi lakini hangeniambia maanake wivu ni adui mkubwa wa maendelo.

Niliposimama kumsalimu, alitoa kipindo kia viazi kutoka kwa mfuko wake na ikabidi niwekelee dira mabegani. Nilitoka unyoya kama aliyekimbiza na aishiyemfu (living dead) na kuacha vumbi ikitiririka tiri tiri kwa bara bara. Nadhani Bw. Musa aliachwa mdomo wazi maanake nilimuacha na kona kama sita, kama aliamua kunifuata.

Nilifika kwa makutano mengine ma njia na ndipo niliposimamia karibu nikate breki. Nilikua nasweti mithiri ya Rudisha akirudisha dhahabu Kenya. Kwa Bahati, nilipoangalia upande wangu wa kucheka, niliona tu-uruaro nilikua nimenunulia huyu msupa wangu tumeanikwa kwa ua la thafai. Kumbe ushamba hauishi ndani yake. Nilicheka nikijua yatakayompata akizivaa.

Pati Wani
Kipande cha Tano
Nilipiga hatua moja mbili kenda na kufika katika geti la ploti yao. Nilichungulia kwanza nione kama kuna mbwa kali nisiumwo mathuthure kisha nikapanda juu ya jiwe lililokua hapo. Nilipiga mbija mara ya kwanza na akatokea mrembo aliyekua ameoga maji yakamkubali. Yaani alikua tu softi na faini kama tu aliyelindwa kwa mafuta. Alikua yuaifanya roho yangu kuruka mpigo initamitentely na kunifanya nitetemke nikimuwaza.

Macho yalikua yanajawa ma machozi ya furaha huku meno yakigaragazana kungonja underere wake.

Nilikohoa kidogo na kusafisha koo nisije nikaharibu mchuzi maana wapishi wengi chombo huenda mduara. Nilitoa kijimkembe cha dumu nilichokua nimebeba kwa mfuko na kujipulizia kwa shingo, mikono, kichwa, mdomo na kwa mizigo yangu kusudi nisijiharibie. Nilimega kyapati kingine na kutafuna haraka na baada ya kukimeza, nikajipanguza meno kwa ncha ya shati langu.

Pati Wani
Kipande cha Sita
Mrembo wangu alianza kutembea kwa mwendo wa aste aste akinielekea. Alikua amevali longi nyekundu na mistari myeupe jambo ilimfanya kukaa kama pundamilia kuvuka (zebra crossing). Licha ya hayo, aliutetemesha moyo wangu zaidi ya tetemesha na safaricom. Moyo wangu ulidunda kwa mara kadhaa kisha ukasimama mara tu alipotokelezea, mzima mzima. Yaani maziwa yake yalikua yamebebana zaidi ya maziwa yote ya Afrika. Yalikua yamejaa kama mkembe wa sharubati na kunifanya nitokomee kwa fikra za kihuni huku nikifikiria ambavyo ningeyauma ningepewa nafasi.

Haidhuru! Mawazo yangu yalikatizwa na mnuko wa spray uliotokea kwa upande wake. Yaani alikua amejipondoa pondo pondo, kwa minanjili isiyoelewaka. Alisimama mbele yangu na kujishika kiuno mithiri ya kikombe cha mtoto.
“Bona umekawia hivyo? Unataka nibadilishe mawazo yangu?” Alinitishia
Sikutishika kama alivyodhania. Instead, nilimshika mkono na kupanda busu kwa shavu lake la kushoto. Alinivuruta kwa nguvu zake zote na kunikumbatia, maziwa yake yakinipotosha kwa muda. Nilipigwa trensfa mpaka paradiso kwa muda.

Alinipiga muju kiromo kia chini kikaviba, nikasaga meno na kuanza kutetemeka. Machozi yalianza kutiririka tiriri tiriri bila kusita huku mate nayo yakinimwaya ulimi.

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Spoilt Ruracio

Our day of buying our Maa crush arrived. I had organized a team of die hards who eat to destroy name. Martin was the cheerleader. Cyrus was the usher. Kkigotho was the pope although I refuse to understand his born againness. He drinks strong things like nobody’s business, although he doesn’t fatten.

The day arrived. Phil prayed for the two journeys (one envoy was to go ahead with an convoy of some old fat drinking car Martin used to own. It would drink fat of 500, he would scare it from the top of a hill and by the time it was down the hill, the fat would be finished na haijaghuruma.

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It would cough small small as if it had leaf (kîhuti) then go off). It was to throw because even parking it, he had to park it uphill so that come end month (that was the only time he would remove it), he would scare it down the hill and try to ignite it with gear. Funny part of it…he would park it and tie it with ropes because it had no brakes.

The other team had to walk the cows, wanfote of them from Kitui where we had bought them like throwing (during kiangazi) and get them to Narok. They started walking 1 month earlier. They beated chest that they were the best for that work. But I was seeing them from 18. They would walk one day, call to say one cow fainted and as they called the vet, he would “advise” it be slaughtered so that we won’t remove like that like castrator of donkey. John na Robert mjue we knew you were selling the meat at Kiamaiko.

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As we drived from town to Kempinski, we found that Pope was coming from it. Wee, that road was only being used by fuel guzzlers. And here we had a fuel guzzler, hiyo karatasi ya Martin. He would say it was Hino with the power of a FAW Tipper, the speed of a Mercedes Actross truck, and a Mercy Fergusson oomph but it was a 1936 Toyota or I guess Sunny Saloon. He beated chest that because it also drinked fat like V8, he would not be asked question.

Let me to tell you. The kavehicle was lifted by a Chinese crane that was working on a nearby building site. It was lifted from the road to the other side of Ngara tukiwa ndani.

As we crutched for safety, it couldn’t hold it anymore. The doors that he locked with padlocks were unlocked from the airspace. It had flown, true to his words that when it drinks fat of full tank, it flies like Ferrari. They opened and Joe and I were thrown out 30 feet down. Martin was left holding the steering wheel but as it seemed, it was soon going to release itself and fall. It had been fixed using superglue. The last passenger was cûcû. Since the vehicle had no safety belt, I had tied her with rope of her sheep. But she’s the one who had insisted on that.

Shortly after, martin came tumbling down down down shouting at the top of his voice. Haki na vile we had prayed. But then, I remembered one Njamby had prayed for us kwa inbosk. Her prayers of ‘fada lawd, cheesos, omaity goo’ and blah blah mingi had spoilt everything. Then Trizah had called us ngoma mingi because we told her she can’t fit in Martin’s limousine. To cut the short story long, martin landed on a heap of maembe from a furious thoko woman. That was 9-0. Sijanunua jiko and here I’m paying women of market.

Well, we paid but couldn’t leave without mangoes. As we negotiated the fine, Joe put 5 mangoes in each of his pockets (trouser ya zile material za vitenge Za women’s guild. He also put 3 in each of his coat pockets – ile korti ya material ya sofa. It can hibernate anything. We beat them in their own game with 29 mangoes – yet we paid for just 10.

On the other hand, Kigotho and Cyrus had traveled the previous day. They were to wait for us kwa gate and steal us secrets of what they heard tutaitishwa. They were also to tell me what my girl was wearing before nipelekwe kwa identification parade. But where. The guys went to eat and throw lines to my girlfriend’s sisters. Wakafukuzwa and went drinking the whole night.

When we arrived, they were not clearing anything. They were seeing with one eye like nduthi. Lock had refused to be removed with the soup of blood they bought at the local bushary. The I heard they had picked Evelyn along the way akawapatia Sangriza ya 20 litres.

Anyways, we could not use our limousine again. We left the car hanging kwa garage ya Mchina. Lucky for us. I would not want to imagine a vehicle without brakes ikiteremka pareeee Mai Mahiu. It was impounded and thrown deep into the yard. As I heard, it was going to be ‘pressed’ by those powerful metal destroyers. My cucu will be lucky akitoka huko. After all, she survived that time of majeneti (emergency). We had to use PSV now and that was one big mishtake (enters Afro). The vehicle we climbed was of cutting. It was tying hour in every hole it entered.

As it tied hour, some 3 guys would climb. We would be happy that we shall uproot from the hole soon. Unlucky for us, they would turn out to be of beating set.
Small small, they would alight and beat vehicle rib. The driver would scare the vehicle small, step on fat smaaall tu and people come rushing and when they climb, he would beat set again.

After beating set for more than 2 hours, we finally uprooted. We uprooted with 6 empty seats despite the vehicle being full all the time at the hole. The driver was saying he was hurrying because he saw old tree (an old bus called Mûtî Mûkûrû coming to come).

We uprooted and we are thoooose, beating dust to beat. The driver was rough small. He would step on fat like lack of importance. As he changed gear, he would do it without stepping clutch. He would say he does not want to burn clutch. As a result, we would be heated (kûgûthithio) holes and complain to the driver to stop we collect our scattered belongings. The seats would have to be fixed too before continuing as the words bolts and screw nuts were alien to the crew.

Every time we hit hole, the person at the back would be thrown by that thing that was called inashia in science mpaka pale kwa driver. Then the conductor would think ameingia hapo the last stage na kumlipisha tena.

At some point, police would stop us to eat the vehicle small thing. The conductor would remove in front small before the vehicle stopped. He would rush to the police and then come back whistling.

“Oyaa, uproot. I have burned him liver (nîndamûcina ini).”
We then came to another hill there. The driver said the matatu was behaving funny. It was refusing to pull fat even when he steppppped (ona akinyiriria). He step stepped and it coughed small. He stepped again and the vehicle refused job.
“Oyaa kadere niaje? Harakisha juu ya ile githaa.”
At that point, I knew the ancestors wa Enugu state forest were using my photo to fan themselves. We had to walk all the way from the Mai Mahiu Junction to Narok.
We got there and the girl-buying proceedings started.

The drunk fellas came about their sense.
“Oyaa buda Mmasai, hawa mathikati wako, is it you who borned them? Mbikos sioni how you would get a gisundurinu at your age. Haki si kamzee kamezeeka?” Cyrus asked the elderly man then turned to discuss him with Kigotho.
Vile tulifukuzwa hatukujua. Ata ng’ombe sijui zilipelekwa wapi.

We Could Do With a Cuddle Right Now

I want to sleep with you
I don’t mean ‘have sex’
I mean sleep.
Together.
Under my blankets.
In my bed.
With my hand on your chest.
And your arm around me.
With the window cracked.
So it’s chilly, and we have to cuddle, closer
No talking.
Just sleepy, blissfully happy, silence.

Perfect Dangerous Beauty

Perfect Dangerous Beauty
Those cloud-pale eyelids,
Dream-dimmed eyes,
Shy but seemingly denying eyes,
The poet in me, laboring all my days
To build a perfect beauty in rhyme
I am overthrown by a woman’s gaze.

And by the unlaboring brood of the skies:
And, therefore, my heart will bow,
When dew is dropping sleep,
Until God burns time,
Before the unlaboring stars and you.
I talk of the perfect beauty

Kidogo kidogo

Ameingia bosc…..

I want to start kissing you at your forehead,
To your lips to your neck,
Around your neck
Gently pulling your hair while sucking on the back of your neck…
….sliding my hand under your shirt…
No bra…
Good girl…
Your nipples are so hard

Massaging your tits,
Playing with your nipples pinching them,
As I am kissing all over you
Making out with you,
Spreading your legs and putting myself in between
Reaching for your wet pussy,
But teasing you by massaging your inner thighs.
Your lips are so sweet

Going down on you, lifting your tight t-shirt and going between your tits
Teasing your nipple…while unzipping my pants, undoing my belt
Feeling you reach in my pants while I suck and bite on your other nipple.
Na nimeshidwa shidwe shidwe kumaliza

@Sheriff
All rights reserved
©Chege_2016-2018

When my arms wrap you round I press
My heart upon the loveliness
That has long faded from the world;
The jeweled crowns that kings have hurled
In shadowy pools, when armies fled;
The love-tales wrought with silken thread
By dreaming ladies upon cloth
That has made fat, the murderous moth;
The roses that of old time were
Woven by ladies in their hair,
The dew-cold lilies ladies bore
Through many a sacred corridor
Where such grey clouds of incense rose
That only God’s eyes did not close:
For that pale breast and lingering hand
Come from a more dream-heavy land,
A more dream-heavy hour than this;
And when you sigh from kiss to kiss
I hear white Beauty sighing, too,
For hours when all must fade like dew.
But flame on flame, and deep on deep,
Throne over throne where in half sleep,
their swords upon their iron knees,
Brood her high lonely mysteries.

Letter to my ex..,

I had a lot to say and a lot to talk to you in person but that day never came.

The night you left me; that call I made in the darkness of the night; and

Told me you are leaving so, we should part ways

Wasn’t the day to talk because neither were you in the right frame of mind to listen;

Nor was I in the right frame of mind to speak because I knew what was coming.

Now that the dust has settled and we are on different paths, I would appreciate if you can read this patiently;

With an open and receptive mind, at least for the sake of the wonderful moments we shared.

I hope I at

Least deserve to be given a patient reading.

I am neither ashamed nor do I feel sorry or

Blame myself for anything that

I ever did as I got into that courtship with

The best thoughts, feelings, values and intentions and

Left with the same, albeit with a broken heart.

I have never blamed you for anything.

Because everything I did surrounding us

After you came into my life

Was to be with you.

There is a very thin line between being practical and being naïve; and oblivious

of reality, and

Failing to realize that there exists a world outside our minds;

With equal degrees of truth in it.

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There is a thin line between

Being emotional and romantic and being a

fool.

But to date, I never regret

Falling in love with you and

Developing feelings for you.

You were the most wonderful person that came into my life

In a long time and being with you wash the best thing that happened to me but then,

You were a lot more emotional than I and

Your sentiments run deeper than mine.

They say that a woman’s feelings are much deeper than a man’s and

With you it was no different

When we started our journey, we were at opposite ends of a bridge.

You gave me exiting signals when I toasted you

But not until that day; while out in the field

You gave in and gave me a love boat

And do you remember that day on the banks of thaaaat stream?

Forget that though…

It was a great walk until we reached in the midst and

Got hit by a storm but then,

You were afraid and decided to walk back

I always had a hope that a wonderful woman, like you,

Would be able to understand me one day and see the light in my eyes.

I am also practical about a lot of matters in life but

In matters relationship,

I let my heart decide because,

My mind tells me to be safe but my heart leads me to do what makes me happy.

Walking beside you, I always felt proud of

Being with a woman who reflects dignity and grace,

A woman I could be with for a lifetime.

Maybe it was my pride in you that made me blind towards

What was coming; even after I saw those signs.

But I will never repent or regret that

Because I always prefer to hurt myself in trying to prove myself

Than sitting back, going into a limbo and waiting for things to come

To

A slow,

Torturous end.

As our parted ways become wider

Always take this with you, whenever, wherever

You go

If he gives you better

I’ll maintain my bow.

But if tears start to fall

Do not hesitate to call me

I’ll be there before the next teardrop decides to fall

I’ll be there to take you home.

But not until we bring him to his downfall

 

Adapted, with full permission, from Murila Donreed

Letting Go is an Uphill Task

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Photo: dailymail.co.uk

I stood at the gate, watching her as she left.

She left because she thought that I wasn’t the man for her.

She left maybe because it was her first relationship and she thought dating other guys was better.

She left because her workmates talked her into it.

Why marry someone your employer can’t take as collateral?

She left because I didn’t tell her how many times I had knelt to God on her behalf.

Maybe she left because I didn’t tell her that every time she spoke to other guys, and allowed them to come closer, I felt jealous.

Maybe she left because…………..

……….

FF

I sat at the gate.

2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours.

And wished perhaps she could come back and say goodbye.

My deepest part of the heart was hurt.

So, I stood about midnight. At least it was dark and my tears were seen not.

I waited for her.

I waited for the same person I had met 6 years ago.

I waited for the only person who gave me sleepless nights.

Yea sleepless nights🌒 in bed praying that she would belong to me, for ever.

I waited for the girl who meant my universe.

For the only girl I had become a slave to.

And when three months passed I still hoped she would return.

But she didn’t.

………..

FF again

……….

So, now it’s two years later and I heard she was marrying.

My heart was fainting but I made it to the wedding

The bride was there. Ready for the vows. 💍

I stood at the back. Eyes red, heavy with tears.

I had thoughts but I implemented none.

Because I have always hated hurting her. I mean she was this special though she never knew.

I raised not my hand when the pastor asked

“If anyone has something to say, say it now or forever hold your peace”

I just kept quiet.

Instead, as silence ran through the church hall.

I rose and joined them at the edge of the aisle

Sang her her favorite Them Mushroom song, “Nikufuge Ndege Gani”.

I spoke to no one but her heart.

I left and sat down.

 

So, she exchanged vows with the man “of” her “dreams”.

When the wedding 👰🏾was done I was left alone in the last bench of the church. 💒

 

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Photo: thesun.co.uk

I stood, shaking, wiping my tears with the sleeves of my shirt.

I had a blurred vision.

I stood once to look at her.

She saw me, gazing at her. But she couldn’t say nothing.

I smiled…… And left.

No one saw me again

I was gone.

………….

Ladies please.😶 understand what men go through to keep you

Men pray

Men get 💔

Men cry. And I repeat, men Cry!

 

 

 

Vinnie wrote

Chege adapted

Does Your Woman Dominate, Always? Can I Help You Take Control and Dominate Your Woman?

face2face

Image: face2faceafrica.com

This is for men; but those women who have refused to be brainwashed because they attended an institution of higher learning might want to go through it with me. Those women who love cooking; and do not do it because it’s their role.

When the Woman Takes Control; Man, Wake Up and Take Your Place

I probably know that 8 out of every 10 women who have read the heading have that look-at-another-male-chauvinistic-blogger attitude. As a matter of fact, that is why they will read this to counter the man trying to take their position back and work against the man dominating the relationship.

For you, the man, who thinks deep love is doing everything that your woman wants, now that is what I refer to as being ‘a nice man’. As it might interest you, women do not go for ‘nice men’. Many times are when I have heard them say that a ‘nice man’ is weak and end up dating real-life jerks.

Every man hates it when his girlfriend suddenly takes control and becomes the dominant factor in their relationship. Who doesn’t, after all?

I won’t beat around the bush here. If you’re desperately wanting to find out how to control and dominate women at this point, then this means that you may already be facing some pretty huge problems with your woman.

Do not worry though. As a writer, who is sometimes considered a very anti-social man, I have interacted with female writers for a while. We at least share one habit with them – the anti-social habit and they have more than often told me what your woman will not tell you. The secret behind their ‘rise to fame’ and taking dominance in your relationship. That is however why I am here to help.

Before that, though, I’ll need to break this news to you…

If your girlfriend is already taking control and assuming dominance over you, it’s already the beginning of the end of the relationship.

(I don’t mean to scare you, but it’s true. I’ve seen that happen so many times)

Have you already been seeing these tell-tale signs?

  1. She decides on most things: from the trivial (“the toilet seat STAYS DOWN”) to the important (“we are going to raise TWO KIDS and home-school them”).
  2. She automatically assumes that you will follow her decisions without question.
  3. You think that it’s “OK” for her to dictate what you do because you want her to be happy.
  4. You can’t plan on anything without asking her.
  5. Her emotional well-being is ahead of everything (including your own.)
  6. She plays mind games on you.
  7. She makes nonsensical requests and gets you to jump through hoops… just for the heck of it.

If any (or all!) of those situations describe you, it means that you’ve been pussywhipped, plain and simple.

Worse, you may get infatuated by dominant females (it’s a known fetish!) and get your judgment clouded by your infatuation. You’ll soon realize that these women are insulting and heartless.

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Image: greenweddings.ng

Look. I may come across as a male chauvinist here, but frankly, I don’t give a care. I have been termed a traditionist and old-fashioned man who has refused to get into the system of the city ‘slay queen’ mantra that the world has changed – that even the man can change the baby’s diapers while she relaxes on the bed. The truth needs to be told! You, as a man, shouldn’t allow women to dominate you at all.

And no, it doesn’t matter whether you’re only starting to know her, or if you’re already dating her for years, or if you’ve been married to her for donkey years. It’s irrelevant.

Instead, you should make her see that you wear the pants in the relationship and that she can never take that control away from you, period.

If you need to regain your control, there is one rule for you

When a man gets attracted to a woman, he tends to fall into this phase where they constantly ask her for permission before doing anything.

This is completely natural at this stage because you want to please her and make her happy.

Unfortunately, asking for permission all the time will degrade your image in the eyes of women and they will end up respecting you less because of it – remember we agreed no ‘nice man’ thing here.

For comments, suggestions, or buying of my erotic writings, please use the form below to leave me your message.

So, here’s the GOLDEN rule that you must obey if you want to control your girlfriend –

Make your decisions – however big or small. Consult ONLY when you feel you must and it will affect both of you.

Never ask her for her opinions. And I don’t care what the subject matter is –  again, do not try this with every woman. I had a very reasonable girlfriend whose opinion always counted. But remember we are talking about the dominating woman that you so damn love that you cannot leave.

Of course, this doesn’t stop her from telling you what she thinks even without you asking… … and when this happens, just be indifferent.

Naturally, you may have doubts over your decisions from time to time. But guess what? Her opinion, as you already know, may not be helpful at all.

Ultimately, realize that it’s better to be WRONG than to come across as INDECISIVE. Remember that!

Manipulate Her Emotional Weaknesses

Have you ever wondered why women seem to behave so irrationally, and can be completely unpredictable at certain times?

Well, here’s the answer:

There are certain vulnerabilities which are hard-wired inside the female psyche which make them behave like that.

And because they have no control over these vulnerabilities, they have no control over their irrational and unpredictable behaviour as well.

Here’s the good news:

You can exploit these vulnerabilities to gain the upper hand and “brute force” a woman to surrender to you willingly and unconditionally.

I’ll show you how you can do just that, but for now, it’s important to understand this: –

A woman’s biggest psychological vulnerability is that she lets her emotions dictate her behaviour and actions. Ultimately, the emotions, if you allow them, will control you too.

This means that if you have a strong understanding of how the female mind works, you’ll be able to literally snap your fingers and make a woman surrender to your dominance and authority. Yes, it can be that easy!

And guess what: the ability to understand (and exploit!) a woman’s psychological vulnerabilities is now yours for the taking. By using Mind Control techniques on a woman, you’ll tap into these vulnerabilities and exploit them for your benefit like a seasoned pro.

Say A Firm “No”

On that note, you must learn how to say “no” to women more often. If you want to get out from under her trap and stop her domination over you, you should say “no” every occasionally, (or more frequently if you want).

Heck, do it even it makes you look unreasonable. Remember: it’s fine to be a fucking jerk occasionally – in fact, as you may have already known, for some reason, women seem to prefer jerks over nice guys. Makes sense, right?

If you don’t, she will automatically assume that you are easy to control and after that, she will completely lose respect for you. And guess what… it’s almost a lost cause when you’ve reached that stage. And you certainly don’t want that to happen, right?

Challenge Yourself

With no exceptions, every man has his own set of weaknesses (yes, even a master of the universe like Arnold Schwarzenegger).

What makes a man remarkable is that he succeeds despite his weaknesses.

So, here’s what you must do…

Learn how to challenge your weaknesses, so that women won’t be able to take advantage of those weaknesses once they start to date you.

Respect and appreciate yourself and take pride in who you are while you’re at it. After all, nobody can dominate you without your consent. Agree?

And guess what – I will be lynched by feminists when I say this, but I don’t care.

The truth is that women will only choose to dominate men who complain about their weaknesses, who always seek for female approval, who are tentative about whatever they do, and who constantly talk about what they lack in life.

For comments, suggestions, or buying of my erotic writings, please use the form below to leave me your message.

Content available for purchase, in PDF form:

  • Washroom Escapades
  • Office Sex
  • A Sexual Encounter With The Concubines
  • The Threesome
  • The Nun

 

 

 

Your opinion, comment, criticism, and recommendation is highly welcomed in the comment section

 

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